Youre the Earth beneath my feet

last chance

2011-02-08T07:59:00.001-08:00

So i just came back from 'school'..well my c.humans teacher is not helping at all cos hes quite slow. But hes nice la. BUT still..o levels in 8 months. My gawd! Anw, i am dead serious when i say I WANT THIS BADLY.
I NEED TO DO WELL.
I HAVE TO DO WELL.
I WILL DO WELL.
I've wasted my previous chance.

Like HSM quoted, "its now or never."
And I promise, Ill do it this time.

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2011-02-05T05:23:00.000-08:00

Actually people still think Diabetes is a just a word.

A threat.

An excuse.

Trust me, it is not.

It is DAMN real to me.

Every time my body hurts, I will talk to myself.

"Liver, is that you? Kidney, is that you? Don't give up on me,please."

You find it funny?

I understand, I would too if I'm not the one suffering.

Everything is different now.

But I'm glad it did.

I appreciate my parents more.

I appreciate my life more.

I appreciate everything & everyone more.

But the best is,

I appreciate God more.

Even if it means I have to starve myself a little.

Even if I have to swallow 8 tablets at once.

It doesn't matter cause I never felt happier.

It is as if He is trying to tell me, Change.

So now I'm retaking my O levels.

I am dieting. (Lost 6kg in 2 weeks, yup I never believed in this but now I do)

I am exercising. (Hell yeah. IKR, Hahah.)

I only eat wholemeal & mee.

I drink only mineral water & fruit juice (IKR, I was anti fruits & vegetable)

What I'm trying to say here is that, I'm being realistic now.

No more making excuses to avoid reality checks.

Yup, thank you God.

Love you.

Plan

2011-02-05T05:07:00.001-08:00

Okay so I was talking to Mummy for the past like 20 mins.

I was telling her bout courses in poly.

So yeah I know I really want to be a teacher and all.

Yes, without a doubt.

But I was also looking into other choices.

Like Nursing.

I know right, okay don't laugh.

I'm actually not joking.

I know it is extremely a tough job, no joke.

Not only that, thinking bout seeing people die in front of you.

Literally surrounded by blood and pain.

Not only physically, but also emotionally cause of the people you will meet there.

Customers whom you always have to lie they're right.

Those who would scream their lungs out and make life as good as hell for you.

Well that is all the disadvantages.

But look at the positive side.

It is an exciting job which has a very stable standard of living.

Financially and even physically.

You have so many opportunities waiting in line for you.

And the best is it is internationally recognized.

Learning about my body and myself.

Learning about everything I need to know to help my parents in the future.

Just like how my mum took care of nyayi (my late grandma) without any hiccups.

I should be like that.

I am the girl in the family.

And I of course plan to take care of my parents in the future.

So I have to start somewhere.

Anyway I myself am not a normal healthy kid.

I am sick.

So therefore I should really consider into taking this line.

My mum suggested Pharmaceutical Science, Applied Food & Nutrition Science...

I am definitely considering all these.

Despite the irony of me hating science.

Haha.

So I think that's all.

I just felt I had to blog this.

Toodles.

-Be patient Mummy, Be patient Daddy. I promise you a relaxing & joyful future ahead.

I will try my very best, to reach that goal of mine. So we all can celebrate the taste of success.

2010-12-21T15:33:00.000-08:00

Alright, so Im quitting my job.

Heading back to school to retake O's.

I look at my friends and some other ppl around.

I kinda forgot who i am already.

It makes me so confused if I am still the same me.

I so need brudder now.

I really need our H2H talks again.

Hello there

2010-12-08T05:00:00.000-08:00

Shocked.

Speechless.

Numbness.

Am I going to die?

Will they cut off my leg?

What will happen to me?

Questions bombarded my mind when the doctor told me the result.

Tears were about to flood my face but nenek was there.

So I held back those tears.

The first thought actually was,

Nick Jonas.

Anyway at that point of time,I was so so pissed.

cos while I was still in a state of shock and

while the doctor was trying to explain to me bout everything,

I had like calls from the office.

my collegues.

Called me regarding JUICE?

When Im in a desperate situation.

Just imagine my pain.

Just imagine.

So after I took my medicines I ate with nenek.

The pain and feeling of lost came back when I reach Mummy Sal house.

I could hear the doctor's voice at the back of my head,

telling me;

You have to drink Milo, without sugar.

You can't eat mayonnaise and chilli sauce.

You can't eat fried chicken.

No more seafood for you.

& at the same time I could the numbness in my body.

I couldn't feel my fingers(till now.)

I could barely feel my legs.

My head was spinning.

Was I overreacting?

Then mummy called and that's it.

I burst.

I feel guilty for doing so, cos I know deep down she's more devastated than I am.

But she kept being strong for me.

So Daddy fetched us from Mummy Sal and went back t JB.

We went to Tesco.

For the first time I felt so weird and uneasy.

Cos I didnt know which food to choose.

I didn't know whiCH food I can take and which I can't.

But Mummy was there to ensure everything's alright.

So in conclusion.

Today is a new chapter of my life.

Something that I have gained that can never be erased or removed from me.

Something I have to live with my whole life.

An enemy that I have to give 101% attention and commitment.

Hello there,

Diabetes.

2010-12-05T07:48:00.000-08:00

Okay I really wanna cut my hair like how I always cut it.

I think Ill really feel the most comfortable if I cut it that way.

Okay and Im fucking sick ):

Flu Fever..

Anyway I really miss you.

I wonder if I actually appear in your mind, like ever?

Argh.

Anyway Im hell excited for this Sat's trip!

A whole week trip to KL.

Awesome shit or what man!

Okay I think thats about it.

I should really stop watching love story and be some mushy song writer shit.

2010-11-21T16:15:00.001-08:00

So I have decided to post on my blog again?

We shall start later.

Now back to work.

2009-12-08T04:43:00.000-08:00

Yes Im feeling guilty for so many things.

I didnt go to school today so I didnt get to see Aisah and Fizah,

And I couldnt send them off at the airport cos Im in JB.

POLKA is on Friday,

and I have not been able to go for the practices cos Im in JB.

WTH man.

All these cause of?

Living here in JB.

2009-12-02T04:48:00.000-08:00

Yes Its been awhile.

So many things have been happening.

Well of course,

how long since Ive updated this blog.

Anyhows,

Dayah's bday just passed.

But our cliques just gonna celeb tmr.

Tgt with La'Femme.

And plus Boogie Woogie on Fri.

So 2 days in a row to enjoy.

PARTAAAAY!

Hahah, well we deserve it.

After so much commitment towards our projects & CAs.

So yeh,

I think thats bout it for today.

I promise Im gonna update more regularly.

I used to wonder last time,

How can people actually let their blog rot.

Now I am doing it myself.

Hahah.

Oh wells, now I know.

Bye till then (:

2009-10-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

So its 2 in the morning,

yet Im not asleep.

Tmr Im going in to sg (;

Meeting mummy then go Bedok for tuition.

then to Iman's house for house warming.

Gotta meet JASSY!

wooho!

Okay I think thats about it.

MIRACLE!

2009-10-03T10:35:00.000-07:00

So yes,

went out with my Granny yest.

Managed to convince her to continue her starhub line.

instead of having both line and prepaid.

So looking at her buying a new phone

and for the fact tht we were at fav place,

Toa Payoh.

I decided to change my phone.

So yeah changed my cookie to this.

Old but a good phone.

K800i.

I mean Im quite impressed by it lah.

So as usual I was exploring the phone,

still excited cause its only A DAY old.

UNTIL daddy actually cameover to pick mummy and I up,

he brought up phne topic.

Then he said tht starhub called him,

and asked if he wanted to renew the plan.

If he wants, we'll get 100bucks voucher to renew it earlier.

So he agreed.
Then he asked me to look through the npaper,

to choose for each of us a phone.

INCLUDING ME!

When the K800i is barely 2 days old.

Yes yes I was shocked.

BUT I WAS DARN HAPPY TOO!

Means I can get my N5800!

Woohoo!

So tmr we're going phone shopping spree.

Heaven.....

Hahha.

Yeah thats bout it.

(;

Selamat Hari Raya

2009-09-20T09:04:00.001-07:00

I know Ive not rlly said how much I love my family,
and how lucky am I to be part of this amazing family.

I have the best parents anyone could ask for.
Despite them bringing me up in a military school way.
Despite facing major downfalls and splits in our family.
Putting aside all the major anger management problem daddy has,
& nagging management problem mummy has.
Only in the age of 19,
then I realised how lucky I am.
how blessed I am.
To have been brought up by these angels.

And overall to have a small but yet happy family.

Not only being blessed with wonderful guardians.
But also surrounded with amazing family,
where uncles and aunties are all our parents.
where cousins are all our siblings.

All the laughters and tears we shared.
Nothing can replace that EVER.

On this very Hari Raya,
I wanna take this opportunity to express my love & appreciation
to my whole family.
This years gathering really touched my heart.
& also made me realised how lucky and blessed I am.
Thank you so much for being part of my life.
Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin.

2009-09-17T10:47:00.000-07:00

C U T E!
christofer drew
Never Shout Never.

Check him out.

Anyway Sunday Hari Raya!
(((((;

2009-09-16T07:46:00.000-07:00

Okay I know Ive initially intended to go Brunei.

Due to some circumstances,

It is being cancelled.

My dad suggested to study in KL.

Have been researching on some colleges there.

So 90% chances Ill be going there to study.

Dont wanna bring my hopes too high.

Anw I think thats about it.

Yupp.

2009-09-15T05:59:00.000-07:00

HEY,

I know I know.

Ive been MIA ing.

But exams just ended for me.

& Im having my hols now (;

Nothing much happned, except for

my familys visit to a muslim orphanage.

It was such a heartfelt experience.

Ill never forget them.

Anyway HariRaya's coming!

Yupp KECHING!

$$$

But wont be as much as before as Im getting older.

But as long as I get abit its fine with me.

And this Sat thres alumni bnd pract!

woohoo cant wait.

Its been awhile since Ive played myhusband (tuba).

& Im rlly hoping to meet my juniors.

Jas esp.

Ill miss you Din

2009-08-31T22:57:00.000-07:00

Someone who inspires me

without even trying to

Someone whos always there for his family

theres no limit to what he can do

However short his words said to me

can boost up my spirit so much

His extra effort to make me feel better

His kind soul that made everyone feel touched

It was so sudden and shocking

For him to go is such a blow to us

Not a single whom didnt shed a tear

As he has touched so many hearts

Im sure I wont be the only one saying this

that we're gonna miss you so badly

that we're gonna miss your funny jokes

that you'll always be the one and only,

Din.

2009-08-29T10:14:00.000-07:00

So we celebrated Aisah's bday today.

First we went to Hawa Restoraunt(which is horrible).

Then after like buke-ing and all,

we left for Arab St for sheesha-ing?

Yeah the place was awesome.

It was darn fun there cause we were making hell out of noise.

But the groups who were also in the same room were sporting.

So throughout the dares,

they were helping out and all.

So after the whole thing ended,

we left.

Photos later.

(;

For my friend, Aisah

2009-08-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

Someone who doesnt fail to smile

Retardedly likes to count her hair

Someone who has her darn "mentel" side

Her joy her happiness she never fails to share

A friend who doesnt MIA at all

Without fail towards us she shows her care

Always lending a listening ear

She never fails to be there

I want to thank you for everything

For listening to me when I needed it

For accepting me for who I am

For making me laugh when lifes a bitch.

Thank you,

Happy Birthday MENTEL!

2009-08-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

Theres something wrong with me

My brains dead

My minds empty

Anyway Im sorry for not updating.

Have been studying.

Exams are here, darn.

But good news is, I got a job!

Hee, went with Achie.

If you do come to the zoo, text me! (;

I think till here only then.

Ill blog more when my exams are over.

Bye.

A photo can say a thousand things.

WOo!

2009-08-10T05:15:00.000-07:00

Yes its a darn basic&normal bike.
Its my granddads (;

& I rode it FOR THE FIRST TIME!
I know you must be like, so.
Its a MAJOR thing for me.
growing up being in love with bikes.
Since the times my parents brought me to the arcade
every week when I was young.
&They were like so against the idea
of me taking bike license.
ESPECIALLY my grandmother.
&now EVEN SHE allows me to.
& my dad was the one who guided me just now.
LIKE WOW.
hahha.
&Yes Im gonna take bike license.
(((((:
Like at last right?
);
But right,
I dont want a bike like my granddads.
Mine would be this:

Lambretta 150 Fleetwood

AWESOME right?
Hahha, I know...
Anyway back to school tmr.
sucks );

JAKUN

2009-08-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

What else will make me laugh to myself?

&Cheer me up when Im down?

If not for the four of you,

If not my four stupid clowns.

You never fail to make me laugh

Literally made me roll on the floor & cry

If ever someone ask me to define "friendship",

Id just show him, us five.

JAKUN

The reason behind my every smile.

2009-08-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Hot. Cute. Talented.

& only 16.

WOW!

Hahha, yes I dont admire most Indonesian singers.

But shes not an Indonesian.

Shes a German.

So not counted.
(:

In the movie, her names Baby.

How adorable right?

GOD!

hhaha.

Her real names Cinta Laura Kiehl.

0.0 I know...

Okay fine Im done bragging bout her.

I miss my JAKUN.

2009-08-01T03:59:00.000-07:00

Yes I was sleeping in class.

&what did my beloved friends do?

Instead of stopping me from drooling in class,

they vandalized my hands.

It says "Tido jer!" which means "Sleep Only!"

Anyway 3 days alr I didnt meet JAKUN.

Lah... rindu plak.

Hahha.

2009-07-31T10:44:00.001-07:00

Yes Im sick yet again.

Well the diff this time is tht my whole family is.

All of us are down with high fever.

It sucks man.

Everyday porridge.

But the good thing is both my brother and i,

were like CS-ing the whole time.

Hahha.

Im off t bed now.

2009-07-27T05:46:00.000-07:00

Cousins from my Mummy side.

Yes I was wearing baju kurung.

Anw I trimmed my hair. (THANK GOD)

But I cant like cut it short cause,

the agreement between my aunt &I

was to tie my hair.

So yeah didnt break it,

yet.

So yeah,

Nothing really major happened in my life.

Just been writing songs,

doing notebooks,

studying.

&Thats about it.

2009-07-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

Nothing At All

(verse 1)
You dont see the tears
You dont smell the fear
To you nothing about us is clear

You dont see me cry
Everytime I have to lie
Why do youdoubt me all the time?

(chorus)
You dont exactly know
The hurdles we face everyday
In our lives
You always assume you know
Everything & anything
About us

(bridge)
But no
You know nothing at all

(verse 2)
You only notice my mistakes
The times youre nice are all fake
Theres nothing my heart
can longer take

You dont see my cry
Everytime I have to lie
Why doyou doubt me all time?

(chorus)

You're trying too hard to understand me,
But in actual fact,
You know,"Nothing At All".

LG COOKIE!

2009-07-21T03:13:00.000-07:00

Hello, yes I am a very very happy girl today (;
My parents bought me the LG Cookie today.
Well not physically though, spiritually& financially.
My dear Jakun were the ones who accompanied me.
Exc for Dayah, she didnt come.
Well yes I know its too early to say how much I love it.
But yes its DEFINITELY wayyyy better than my Viewty.
& if you think that this is a random choice,
youre so wrong.
I fell in love with the phone right after its ad I saw in JB.
So yeah.
I dont know whats wrong with me.
Im a phone addict.
:/ well if there ever is such thing.

Anyways yeah,
thats about it.
(;

dang

2009-07-20T01:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah, these are some of the books.
& Yes Im not that good, so pardon me.

Anyway I didnt go to school today.

& Im kinda worried cause, Im sposed to attend the F1 course ALONE as my other friends attended theirs today. Which totally sucks.

Me no like pain

2009-07-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

Events. Events. Take my mind off from everything once again.

Make me busy like no ones business again.

Make me an anti social fool again.

At least during those times,

I felt no pain.

But yet I gained.

LG Cookie

2009-07-15T10:08:00.000-07:00

So yeah Ive started on my "tiny winny notebook biz".

This is just for my ow experience.

Well its also cause my mum came up with the idea.

& yes I know,

my drawing is not good.

But do support me yeh?

I assure you satisfaction.

(;

Anyway these few days have been good.

Well nothing special.

Only the fact that Ill get my LG Cookie by the end of this week (;

Hope to stay with this for more than 3 months (;

Nokia 5800

2009-07-14T00:12:00.000-07:00

Yes I concluded that Id rather buy this.

Nokia 5800.

(;

I have to start buying notebooks alr man);

Mummy's darn supportive of the idea.

Im amazed.

I just hope the idea wont turn out to be a flop.

Alrights then,

Im out.

2009-07-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

So my body died on me today.

Its enjoying the fact that its making me vomit continously.

& enjoying to shoot my temperature up.

So mummy brought me to the doc.

I cant do presentation with my group.

Im sorry.
But I cant deny I didnt to attend school.

But after knwoing bout project,

I wanted to.

But if your temp is high,

you cant leave jb.

Anw mummy doesnt allow me to work.

So byebye iphone.

);

I want to work

2009-07-12T07:35:00.000-07:00

I think Im gonna text Erman tmr.

I wanna work.

Iphone );